2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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