I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize