Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize