ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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