he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Randomize