are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize