But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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