My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
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