All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
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