Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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