Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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