I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Randomize