with your own penis?
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
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