I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize