haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Randomize