ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize