Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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