Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize