You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Small penises have feelings too.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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