My balls are so social today.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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