Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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