I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
is that a dick in a sweater?
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
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