the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
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I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
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I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
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