Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
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