Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
it's like heaven, but drunker
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize