I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize