is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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