i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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