sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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