apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
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