she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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