I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
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we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
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What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
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