yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
