so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
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