He disabled his match.com account in front of me
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Reggie can tackle my bush.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
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