Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize