omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
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