Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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