The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize