You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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