so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize