i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize