When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
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Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
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its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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