i don't want you to think of me as your TA
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
You have to summon your inner elephant
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
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