32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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