hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
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