It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
My pussy is not your playground.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Randomize