No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
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I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
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He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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