My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
God, you're like boner-b-gone
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
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