Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize