I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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